Raw, deep, and honest are the words we have to describe The Scribbling Shrink. Click to find out more about this mysterious person!
Bio: Not much is known about The Scribbling Shrink, except that she has a website, she loves to write, and is going to start writing a new book!
First off, tell us about your writing past, would you tell us about your early years?
I won my first essay competition in elementary school. I remember I won twenty-five dollars and I thought I was rich. I was way too young to truly understand that writing was something you could make a career out of. I did understand, however, that I had just made money doing something I actually liked doing. So I kept doing it.
How did you become a writer?
I didn’t set out to become a writer. I did always know that I was a writer, however. I didn’t know it was something you had to work towards becoming because it was something I had always done for as long as I can remember. I wanted to be a singer when I was younger, so most of my early work was my attempt at songwriting. Before I knew it, I had binders full of songs. That evolved into poetry and spoken word and as I got older speeches and essays. It was also an outlet. Anything I write at any given time should be considered a page from my diary because that’s pretty much exactly what it is.
In school, I would write in and on my school books and be distracted during class all the time. One of my teachers, my English teacher, in fact, pretty much forced me into a competition one year. This is the short version of the story, by the way. She entered a class assignment into a competition without my permission. That class assignment was selected from hundreds of other submissions from children in my school district. I won first place. At the next level, I had to actually present my speech along with representatives from the surrounding districts. I walked out of the competition. I did not want to speak in front of the crowd. I didn’t feel prepared. I was super insecure. And I had had never shared my work on such a platform. She talked me into going back and competing. I took third place.
My English teacher taught me how to fine-tune my writing in a way that allowed me to keep writing the way I wanted to while teaching me the skills I needed to be taken seriously. I entered sixteen speech and essay competitions throughout high school after that. I took first place in all but one. In college, I continued writing but also joined the debate team. This actually improved my work even more because it taught me perspective and not just my own. For those who have not seen or participated in a debate, you must be ready to argue both for or against a specific viewpoint. You also had to be knowledgeable about events, history, politics, etc. both domestic and abroad. Little did I know then, that this journey would pay dividends in regards to my ability to empathize with others, advocate for others and understand the perspective of just about everyone in the room, both good and bad. It improved the way I wrote because it increased my understanding of writing and showed me, in a sense, how powerful words, when paired correctly, can be. Winning also built my confidence in my writing and public speaking.
How would you describe your written works?
Honest. Raw. Boundless. I’m not a super affective person. I’m not super touchy-feely. I don’t always say what or how I feel, especially if it exposes my vulnerabilities. As I stated before, everything I write is a diary page, but it’s also my safe place. In the same manner that someone who may never yell at you to your face may send you an email in all caps, I can say what I want, the way I want on paper. This is even though I’d never say half of what I write directly to someone’s face.
Which authors are your biggest influences?
I don’t know if I can say I’ve been influenced by writers in the traditional sense. Although I’m obsessed with writers such as John Grisham and have read everything Michael Connelly has ever written, I also read Jessica Hawkins and J.S. Scott. What really moves me is music. That is my language. You want to get my attention, tell me something in a song, and I’m all ears. I grew up listening to artists like Boyz II Men, Take Six, After Seven, Commissioned, The Beatles, and even Queen. Their harmonies just grab at you. But what really drew me in was this concept of acapella music. I see my writing as my version of acapella. It’s that truth that’s left behind when everything else is stripped away. There’s nothing and no one to hide behind. It’s either honest and authentic or it’s not. When I write, that is my truth, my Naked, and my most vulnerable self. I would hope that people would like it, but whether they do or don’t, it’s my authentic self. I want my words to make you feel the same way your favorite song does and leave you thinking.
How do your influences help you shape a written work?
If there’s anything I’ve learned from the authors I read and the artist I listen to, it’s that when you find your niche, dig a trench, pitch a tent, and get comfortable. I can’t write like anyone else, so I don’t and shouldn’t try to. All of my favorites have that in common. They’re known for a specific niche and create very distinct work that can easily be identified as theirs and theirs only.
What’s the last book you read?
The Language of God by Francis Collins
What motivates you to keep writing?
I don’t know. I can’t help myself. I can’t not write. Words flow through me the same way oxygen flows through my lungs. It just happens. There’s no crazy process or think tank. That’s probably why it’s so honest. Throughout the day, from the moment I wake in the morning, my mind is going a mile a minute. I’m always four or five steps ahead thinking about the what if’s, the consequences, the possible successes. The who, what, when, and why’s never stop and my decisions are all impacted by that. When I write, I don’t think about it. I write it down and I walk away.
Where’s your favorite place to write?
I don’t have a favorite place. I’m actually afraid to. Because then I’d be dependent on that place or things about that place. Things come to me everywhere — the car when I’m driving, the shower, when I’m at work. Everywhere, everything and everyone can at some time or another be an inspiration. Most often or not, I get random ass thoughts about random ass stuff at the most inappropriate times and places for no evident reason, and I just go with it. Sometimes, it’s as simple as I’m upset and venting onto a piece of paper or am crushing or just feeling something and I am compelled to write it down.
Tell us about the writing process. How does it all come together?
The honest truth is that I usually carry Kleenex with me or paper towels. When things come to me throughout the day, I write them on Kleenex, paper towels, and tissue because, for some reason, no one pays attention to that. The second I pull out a piece of paper, though, man someone is always asking what are you writing? Which makes me super self-conscious. I can’t write when I’m being watched. But as I said before, things just come to me. Sometimes entire pieces all at once. Sometimes one sentence at a time over several days or weeks. And I just know what goes with what and when a piece is complete.
How do you connect with your audience? What is the easiest way for them to connect with you?
A lot of people don’t know who I am, even though I’ve communicated with fans of my work for at least the last four years, if not longer. That’s deliberate. I don’t go out of my way to hide my identity, but also don’t really advertise it. There are not many pictures of me out there that are face forward, straight on and/or attached to my work. In addition, none of my work is actually published or posted in my real name. People who want to connect with me typically do so through Facebook messenger or directly through the contact me option on my site. I get private messages, comments, questions, and even appearance requests, frequently actually. And I always respond. I don’t know that I actually initiate contact with my audience in any way, however. Although I guess when I write and upload something, that is my way of connecting and/or initiating contact.
Connect with The Scribbling Shrink via her website.
Your poetry seems extremely personal. Was it hard to put these feelings on paper? What were some of the things you had to overcome? Fears?
It is personal! It’s very personal. But it’s also easy to write because I don’t always know what I’m writing until it’s done. I’m anxious and a perfectionist more than not, but I don’t obsess over my writing the way I obsess about everything else. It’s like a person who stutters singing without stuttering. They can’t explain it. It just happens. There’s something that compels me to do it, but that same thing soothes, calms and steadies me. There are so many times when I’ve finished something, went back and read it and was surprised by what I had written. I have a lot of holy shit did I really write that moments. I think because it is so personal, being criticized or judged by it would be like me telling someone I liked them and being rejected. Most people don’t know who I am, though, so they’ll never really have a chance to reject me. And I haven’t gotten over any fears. It took me this long to share my work, but there’s also a sense of detachment that I have. When I write something as The Scribbling Shrink or any other alias and post it or share it, it’s not mine anymore. It is, but those platforms are a place where I send my thoughts, present them to the world, and then I walk away and leave them there. After I share it, I don’t dwell on it. What’s done is done. Fortunately, everything that has ever reached me in response has been positive so far, but even if it wasn’t, when people make comments about what I write, they’re sending feedback to The Scribbling Shrink, not me directly. I know that seems weird but the same way I can never say any of this stuff I write to other people’s faces, what people write back can be deleted. Like it was never even there. I don’t dwell on the opinions of others. I write for myself. I just also happen to share it. I’m also not inviting criticism, but I do understand that some people just can’t seem to help themselves. If someone responds negatively, that’s more a reflection of them, not me, my abilities as a writer, or my right to write what I want.
It must be cathartic to get those words on paper. How did it feel once you got them on the internet for all to see? Did you feel exposed, naked as one of your poems suggests?
I do feel exposed. I don’t know how I feel about it yet, though. The feedback has been mostly positive so far, so at this point, I haven’t actually been forced to internalize people’s reactions or even my own feelings about any of it. I’ve also never attached pictures to any of my work in the past. Anyone who has been to my site knows this is not the case for both my podcast or the Scribbling Shrink. If there is any reason to feel exposed, it’s because there’s now a face, or at least an image, to go along with the name. And there are a lot of clues in that one image.
Many of these poems seem like something is overtaking your willpower. Something so strong, it causes you to succumb to its will. What are some of these things you struggle with if you’re willing to talk about them here? Do you think talking about your issues helps others deal with their struggles?
As you know, I wrote a book under a pen name a few years ago. It is my most personal work yet, which is why I released it under a pen name. Although a few people close to me know who I am, I’m not sure that I’ll ever disclose myself as the book’s true author on a larger platform. It is still one of my biggest secrets. Some of what’s in there is the foundation for most of what I write about as The Scribbling Shrink. My relationship with depression, anxiety, suicide, abuse, eating disorders, love, hate, it’s all in there. I say my relationship with as opposed to my struggle with or history of because all of these things don’t necessarily belong to me. They’re things I’ve either dealt with directly or indirectly, but have impacted me nonetheless. I did create a Facebook page under my pen name. The bulk of the messages I receive are from people thanking me for writing something they needed to hear or read. People in my field often write in because my work helps them feel validated in some way. I also get people who just feel compelled to tell their own stories. They don’t know anything about me aside from the words I choose to share, but they tell me their deepest, darkest stories and secrets in a message. Knowing that what I write helps other people is about as cathartic as crying.
As an ex-marine and a psychologist, do you feel there’s an expectation for you always to have it together and always be strong? Do you feel that’s fair? Do you think people are judged by their professions and aren’t allowed to be human by society’s standards?
Well, first of all, once a Marine, always a Marine! And yes. To this day, when I say I’m afraid of something, I either get “but aren’t you a Marine?” and/or “You’re a doctor. Use your coping skills.” People also always think I’m analyzing them. And although I spend almost every day, all day, asking people how they’re doing, do they need anything or if I can do something for them, I almost never get asked the same in return. People always assume I’m the strongest person in the room but forget that I’m still human. It’s not fair that I can’t have a bad day without being a bad clinician, unprofessional, incompetent, or lacking in some way or another, but that’s my reality. We are a very judgemental and unforgiving society. We love putting people in boxes with labels that don’t necessarily fit and forcing people to operate within the confines of those boxes and labels. The second you step outside of someone’s perceived definition of you, you’re at risk of enduring some often unwarranted consequence. Society standards are important but have also proven to be extremely harmful in many ways.
What are your goals with this website?
I think the Scribbling Shrink site will naturally evolve over time because I’m always evolving. I’m not quite sure how yet, but I’ve received a lot of feedback and people who like it, really like it. Maybe I’ll add some audiobooks or short stories. I’ve even considered doing an interactive blog so that I can openly engage with fans directly right from the site. The options are limitless at this point however, so who knows.
What’s next for you?
A new book! I’m ready to write another book. And I’m thinking I’ll write it as The Scribbling Shrink. I feel like that’s the direction I’m being pulled in right now. A lot of what I’ve been writing lately isn’t poetry it’s chapters. That tells me it’s time. It’s been way too long since my first book, and I’m in a different place. I’ve had a very long journey in just a few short years, but the stories I’ve collected along the way are stories I feel need to be told. And I’m kind of excited about it. Scared and anxious, but excited.
Anything else you’d like to add or let us know about?
As much as I enjoy the private messages, it’s important to share, like, and subscribe to the Scribbling Shrink. If you like what you’re reading and want more, pass it on, share it and help spread the word.
Review: TheScribblingShrink.com has writings that are deeply personal to the author and allows glimpses into her life that most people would rather keep covered. It’s incredibly brave to put your writing out there. It’s even braver to put personal writings out for all to see. There is so much of the human condition streaming from the pieces the Scribbling Shrink shares that you can’t help but relate and think about times when you felt depressed, anxious, or had thoughts of a long-gone-lover. The Scribbling Shrink’s work has the sweetness of Maya Angelou, but the honesty of Charles Bukowski. Fans of honest and revealing works would greatly appreciate this website. It is a must-read for those who love sincerity. Come back to CTRLPlusSpace.com, because we’ll be revealing the title of, and leaking excerpts from the Scribbling Shrink’s new book!
